Posts Tagged ‘college admissions’

Thoughts about Felicity Huffman’s conviction

In family, justice on September 14, 2019 at 07:12

Yesterday the news of Felicity Huffman’s trial reacted Denmark and it made me think about if I have parented correctly.

I have two children. One is studying at the University and another is attending a high school.

The one in University is very ill. Thanks to the social services who sent her to treatment despite the warnings of a full team of doctors who warned the social services that removing her from her home would inflict a serious mental illness upon her, she is now suffering from Schizoaffective disorder.

She is studying the English language which has no future in Europe because due to Brexit the Europe Union will go down and become a number of countries which nothing in common not even being able to communicate properly because the populations the countries speaks strange local dialects, none care to learn. Thanks to her low grades in high school due to her illness, English was the only line of studies, she could get in to.

She wanted to study Japanese which I believe is an result of her illness. Japan was bombed into learning their place and has nothing to offer but English it became and she is doing fine living alone with her cat in a remote village when she is not studying at the university.

I could have done more. I could have hired someone to read through her high school main assignment – the SRP report – so it flaws could have been corrected. She got a 4 for it, which equals B- in the United States. It disqualified her from most universities and business schools. I question myself. Who did I not buy the help? Am I a failure as a parent?

The youngest is attending a high school. I have to say that I purchased for about 3,000 dollars of help for my youngest. They go to a private tutor who comes 2 hours per week teaching him the math, he did not get in elementary school. 10 years ago the Danish parliament decided to destroy the public school system, so parents with money sent their children to private schools. Back then I did not have that kind of money, so he had a total of 13 math teachers during a period of 9 years.

I would had bought this help unless he himself had the motivation. He got a B+ at the summer tests, so he was able to turn himself around. I have bought more than 5 liters of Vodka also, so he can socialize and avoid the isolation, my oldest have to endure as she does not do well around drunk people and is basically friendless as result of that.

So as a parent I have purchased both help and alcohol for my children. After the trial, I however question myself whether I should have settled with the alcohol and advised my youngest child to lower his ambitions and choose just letting time pass working as a SOSU-helper serving the sick and elderlies and people in Denmark choose a line of work when they cannot make it in other lines of businesses.

Am I a bad parent? Did I overstep and became a curling or helicopter parent the minute I reached out for academic aid?

You do not have to go for your full potential

In family on March 17, 2019 at 08:02

Recently there has been a scandal where a number of parents have been charged with over-coaching and bribing of school officials even using private firms specializing in bending the educational system over its boundaries.

There have always been educational consultants and their work has always been controversial. A lot of them gets kickbacks from wilderness program, residential treatment programs and prison-like boarding schools. The educational consultants the parents involved in this scandal used, took another approach. They faked papers, so the children looked like super-athletes. They got forehand notice of tests, so they could target the coaching, so the children passed exams easily.

The worst part is that the children properly could have lived good lives. Being a youtuber and influencer has little to do with which school you attend while you are building your business. The local university or even a daytime job at a burger-joint enjoying a McJob career going nowhere does not matter, if it is what makes you happy.
I say to my children “I do not care what you want to do in your adult life if you do not become a drug dealer or parking attendant.”

Still I find myself paying DKK 20,000 to a super-expert in a math. Program called Maple and in couching my child into the area of geometry and trigonometry. Am I then not preaching double standard?

No. Because it was not my decision to enter the school. It was the choice of my child. It was the recommendation from the teachers in the elementary school that my child could excel even he had 12 to 14 math. Teachers during his first 9 years of schooling because the Danish parliament decided to destroy the free public schooling in Denmark and motivate rich parents to pay for private school. In just one year, 70 percent of the teachers quit because being a teacher could no longer support a normal life. The teachers simply retired if they had the option or moved to other lines of business. My child suffered as result of the governments decision. There are areas where the teaching simply did not stick.

But once again. My child decided to attend the school – not me. My child was ready to do the work it took. But the skills lacked and while I make it certain that quitting school will not be a disappointment to me, I also bought a few hours of private teaching just to see if it would work having private lessons once per week. It did! We are back on the right track. It might not be the best high school exam, my child will earn, but it is a goal achieved and even if my child after passing high school will not attend further schooling and start a McJob career flipping burgers until retirement, I will not be disappointed.

I have another child looking into which university to attend. Whether my child will go down that path or not, is not for me to decide. I will accept whatever decision. I am a Dane born in the 1960’s. I have learned that hard work doesn’t necessary pay.

  • The government will cut early retirement regardless of how hard you work.
  • The government will punish you by removing your civil rights if you choose to work abroad so you never can return to Denmark.
  • The government will destroy your children’s schooling despite how much taxes your hard work brings to their table.
  • The government will force you to pay for the cure of your children’s if it a mental (and in Denmark shameful) illness despite how hard you work paying 50 percent or more of your income in taxes.

So, my children shall not see hard work as a thing, they should be proud of. They shall work hard if they like it, not because they should expect some kind of bonus or thanks for it.

In the end it is what they want, not what I want.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they force their children into wilderness programs, special boarding schools, treatment centers etc. just because they as parents feel that their children do not aim to fulfill their full potential.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they bribe people to let their children attend universities when all the child wants is to party at a local school instead.

None will put up a monument once you are gone for pushing your children to do more that they want. All you achieve instead is to push them away from you.

Remember that. You only get one chance as a parent to do it right.


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