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Putting this parenting blogging to an end – please

In family on June 6, 2020 at 14:33

It is a new time, we live in. Some people make a living of showing how a “perfect” parent live with their children.

But recently two cases show the danger of this new line of business.

8 passagers vblog

First we have the “8 Passengers” blog. Why did they get so many children when they cannot even give them a room of their own? It is bound to become a problem in a modern time where children do not have a parent staying at home 24-7. And problems this strange couple got.

First a brother and sister got into some kind of incident, then they took the controversial step to put their child into a wilderness program – something which have claimed the lives of several children across the United States for the last 3 decades. While Anasazi might not had any lives lost in their program, there is no guarantee this would happen at the next expedition. Luckily some of the viewers of their blog reported them to the child protection services.

Later it was revealed that some strange types of over-harsh punishment were metered out to the children and now the child protection services have a real piece of work in front of them.

Myka Stauffer

Adopting a child from somewhere to offer it a life in a civilized country might sound like a good thing. If we forget the part where many adoption agencies lure healthy children from healthy parents by hiring fake doctor who makes the parents believe that they are terminal ill and should adopt their children away as we had some problems as we saw in Denmark when adoption agencies were investigated in Africa, then it could be a good idea.

But to make a parenting blog work, you should set aside a little time for the child it self and that is where it went wrong for Myka Stauffer. She had to rehouse the child she adopted because the child took too much time away from negotiating new sponsor deals.

A rehousing children parents adopt seem to be the new trend in the United States. If the adopted children are no-good on photos, off with them again. There are even residential treatment facilities that specialize in taking dumped adoptees in and rewrapping them so they can be a new item for sale to another family. One of them was the “The Ranch for Kids” in Montana. Apparently it required some force to deal with children who had been transported across countries only to be dumped by those who took them in because the ranch became the center of an investigation in 2019.

I am not parent of the year

I am not the parent of the year. I have made mistakes. One child now suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress disorder, depression and Schizophreniform disorder. What did I do wrong? I trusted child care workers and case workers. One of them had Munchausen syndrome by proxy letting her believe that she knew my child better than the doctors providing medication, so my child became more sick.

Another one was to use public school where a teacher told the children that they smell and had nasty children.

Yes. I made terrible errors as a parent.

But at least I never pretended to be perfect as a parent. I never made a blog of them. I never tried to make an earning of the cost of life quality for my children.

No parent is perfect. In my mind children should be left alone until they are adult and can choose for their own if the world should cover their childhood.

Sources:

Preparing for the decent death

In culture, family on April 1, 2020 at 05:09

The government of Denmark has vote for a number of emergency laws. Those laws resemble what you find in North Korea or other states ruled by dictatorships. They prevent people from meeting each other and discuss whether the laws are too tough. Now not even 2 persons may see each other.

While the laws are tough, they allow the hospital system to arrange a decent death for us.

When we are on the edge of life, 2 persons from our families can say goodbye, so we are told to select among our family-members because one thing is sure: WE ARE GOING TO DIE!

Only question is: How fast? Covid-19 will kill us off, the good thing is to slow the process down so the hospitals have beds enough for us. In other countries people cannot even get a bed. They die sitting in a chair in the hospital or alone from thirst in retirement homes because the staff have been killed off by the virus.

So why 2 family-members and not only one? Because right now 1.4 person is infected per sick. We have to stay below 2.0 for the system to remain working but we cannot not aim at zero. If we do that then the pandemic will remain a threat for Denmark forever and unfortunately Denmark are not able to fence the entire country in. We need to sells our goods abroad and buy other goods from abroad until the last Dane has died.

I have to decide among my wife and two children. Who will I have at my side when it ends? Who will I expose to the virus and possible condemn to die?

It is a really hard choice. I am by far happy making it but it has to be done.

Thoughts about Felicity Huffman’s conviction

In family, justice on September 14, 2019 at 07:12

Yesterday the news of Felicity Huffman’s trial reacted Denmark and it made me think about if I have parented correctly.

I have two children. One is studying at the University and another is attending a high school.

The one in University is very ill. Thanks to the social services who sent her to treatment despite the warnings of a full team of doctors who warned the social services that removing her from her home would inflict a serious mental illness upon her, she is now suffering from Schizoaffective disorder.

She is studying the English language which has no future in Europe because due to Brexit the Europe Union will go down and become a number of countries which nothing in common not even being able to communicate properly because the populations the countries speaks strange local dialects, none care to learn. Thanks to her low grades in high school due to her illness, English was the only line of studies, she could get in to.

She wanted to study Japanese which I believe is an result of her illness. Japan was bombed into learning their place and has nothing to offer but English it became and she is doing fine living alone with her cat in a remote village when she is not studying at the university.

I could have done more. I could have hired someone to read through her high school main assignment – the SRP report – so it flaws could have been corrected. She got a 4 for it, which equals B- in the United States. It disqualified her from most universities and business schools. I question myself. Who did I not buy the help? Am I a failure as a parent?

The youngest is attending a high school. I have to say that I purchased for about 3,000 dollars of help for my youngest. They go to a private tutor who comes 2 hours per week teaching him the math, he did not get in elementary school. 10 years ago the Danish parliament decided to destroy the public school system, so parents with money sent their children to private schools. Back then I did not have that kind of money, so he had a total of 13 math teachers during a period of 9 years.

I would had bought this help unless he himself had the motivation. He got a B+ at the summer tests, so he was able to turn himself around. I have bought more than 5 liters of Vodka also, so he can socialize and avoid the isolation, my oldest have to endure as she does not do well around drunk people and is basically friendless as result of that.

So as a parent I have purchased both help and alcohol for my children. After the trial, I however question myself whether I should have settled with the alcohol and advised my youngest child to lower his ambitions and choose just letting time pass working as a SOSU-helper serving the sick and elderlies and people in Denmark choose a line of work when they cannot make it in other lines of businesses.

Am I a bad parent? Did I overstep and became a curling or helicopter parent the minute I reached out for academic aid?

You do not have to go for your full potential

In family on March 17, 2019 at 08:02

Recently there has been a scandal where a number of parents have been charged with over-coaching and bribing of school officials even using private firms specializing in bending the educational system over its boundaries.

There have always been educational consultants and their work has always been controversial. A lot of them gets kickbacks from wilderness program, residential treatment programs and prison-like boarding schools. The educational consultants the parents involved in this scandal used, took another approach. They faked papers, so the children looked like super-athletes. They got forehand notice of tests, so they could target the coaching, so the children passed exams easily.

The worst part is that the children properly could have lived good lives. Being a youtuber and influencer has little to do with which school you attend while you are building your business. The local university or even a daytime job at a burger-joint enjoying a McJob career going nowhere does not matter, if it is what makes you happy.
I say to my children “I do not care what you want to do in your adult life if you do not become a drug dealer or parking attendant.”

Still I find myself paying DKK 20,000 to a super-expert in a math. Program called Maple and in couching my child into the area of geometry and trigonometry. Am I then not preaching double standard?

No. Because it was not my decision to enter the school. It was the choice of my child. It was the recommendation from the teachers in the elementary school that my child could excel even he had 12 to 14 math. Teachers during his first 9 years of schooling because the Danish parliament decided to destroy the free public schooling in Denmark and motivate rich parents to pay for private school. In just one year, 70 percent of the teachers quit because being a teacher could no longer support a normal life. The teachers simply retired if they had the option or moved to other lines of business. My child suffered as result of the governments decision. There are areas where the teaching simply did not stick.

But once again. My child decided to attend the school – not me. My child was ready to do the work it took. But the skills lacked and while I make it certain that quitting school will not be a disappointment to me, I also bought a few hours of private teaching just to see if it would work having private lessons once per week. It did! We are back on the right track. It might not be the best high school exam, my child will earn, but it is a goal achieved and even if my child after passing high school will not attend further schooling and start a McJob career flipping burgers until retirement, I will not be disappointed.

I have another child looking into which university to attend. Whether my child will go down that path or not, is not for me to decide. I will accept whatever decision. I am a Dane born in the 1960’s. I have learned that hard work doesn’t necessary pay.

  • The government will cut early retirement regardless of how hard you work.
  • The government will punish you by removing your civil rights if you choose to work abroad so you never can return to Denmark.
  • The government will destroy your children’s schooling despite how much taxes your hard work brings to their table.
  • The government will force you to pay for the cure of your children’s if it a mental (and in Denmark shameful) illness despite how hard you work paying 50 percent or more of your income in taxes.

So, my children shall not see hard work as a thing, they should be proud of. They shall work hard if they like it, not because they should expect some kind of bonus or thanks for it.

In the end it is what they want, not what I want.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they force their children into wilderness programs, special boarding schools, treatment centers etc. just because they as parents feel that their children do not aim to fulfill their full potential.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they bribe people to let their children attend universities when all the child wants is to party at a local school instead.

None will put up a monument once you are gone for pushing your children to do more that they want. All you achieve instead is to push them away from you.

Remember that. You only get one chance as a parent to do it right.

Sources:

Car trouble

In family on June 14, 2016 at 18:52

As I wrote late 2015 I got a new car.

It makes trouble. It is some kind of electronics.

At the same time the car has proven difficult to drive. My son says that I have to buy special tires for the winter but really – the car dealer told me that I got all-year round tires with the car when I purchased it. Otherwise I would have put pressure on the car dealer to give me extra tires included in the price.

A new set of tires are very expensive because the European Union has made a law where new cars have to have a kind of Formula One technoligy inside so the driver can see the tire pressure all the time. What good is that for? If I get a flat I can feel it at once.

It makes sense on a racing track where you go 100 miles per hour but we cannot go anywhere with that kind of speed because the central government over at the small island where Copenhagen is placed has introduced very low speed limits so their small island might be felt bigger than it is. I have no use for information about tire pressure.

When you put in a lot of computers in the car you will get a lot of computer trouble because the car is outside where everything can get wet.

It miss my old car.

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