Rotsne

Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Thoughts about Felicity Huffman’s conviction

In family, justice on September 14, 2019 at 07:12

Yesterday the news of Felicity Huffman’s trial reacted Denmark and it made me think about if I have parented correctly.

I have two children. One is studying at the University and another is attending a high school.

The one in University is very ill. Thanks to the social services who sent her to treatment despite the warnings of a full team of doctors who warned the social services that removing her from her home would inflict a serious mental illness upon her, she is now suffering from Schizoaffective disorder.

She is studying the English language which has no future in Europe because due to Brexit the Europe Union will go down and become a number of countries which nothing in common not even being able to communicate properly because the populations the countries speaks strange local dialects, none care to learn. Thanks to her low grades in high school due to her illness, English was the only line of studies, she could get in to.

She wanted to study Japanese which I believe is an result of her illness. Japan was bombed into learning their place and has nothing to offer but English it became and she is doing fine living alone with her cat in a remote village when she is not studying at the university.

I could have done more. I could have hired someone to read through her high school main assignment – the SRP report – so it flaws could have been corrected. She got a 4 for it, which equals B- in the United States. It disqualified her from most universities and business schools. I question myself. Who did I not buy the help? Am I a failure as a parent?

The youngest is attending a high school. I have to say that I purchased for about 3,000 dollars of help for my youngest. They go to a private tutor who comes 2 hours per week teaching him the math, he did not get in elementary school. 10 years ago the Danish parliament decided to destroy the public school system, so parents with money sent their children to private schools. Back then I did not have that kind of money, so he had a total of 13 math teachers during a period of 9 years.

I would had bought this help unless he himself had the motivation. He got a B+ at the summer tests, so he was able to turn himself around. I have bought more than 5 liters of Vodka also, so he can socialize and avoid the isolation, my oldest have to endure as she does not do well around drunk people and is basically friendless as result of that.

So as a parent I have purchased both help and alcohol for my children. After the trial, I however question myself whether I should have settled with the alcohol and advised my youngest child to lower his ambitions and choose just letting time pass working as a SOSU-helper serving the sick and elderlies and people in Denmark choose a line of work when they cannot make it in other lines of businesses.

Am I a bad parent? Did I overstep and became a curling or helicopter parent the minute I reached out for academic aid?

You do not have to go for your full potential

In family on March 17, 2019 at 08:02

Recently there has been a scandal where a number of parents have been charged with over-coaching and bribing of school officials even using private firms specializing in bending the educational system over its boundaries.

There have always been educational consultants and their work has always been controversial. A lot of them gets kickbacks from wilderness program, residential treatment programs and prison-like boarding schools. The educational consultants the parents involved in this scandal used, took another approach. They faked papers, so the children looked like super-athletes. They got forehand notice of tests, so they could target the coaching, so the children passed exams easily.

The worst part is that the children properly could have lived good lives. Being a youtuber and influencer has little to do with which school you attend while you are building your business. The local university or even a daytime job at a burger-joint enjoying a McJob career going nowhere does not matter, if it is what makes you happy.
I say to my children “I do not care what you want to do in your adult life if you do not become a drug dealer or parking attendant.”

Still I find myself paying DKK 20,000 to a super-expert in a math. Program called Maple and in couching my child into the area of geometry and trigonometry. Am I then not preaching double standard?

No. Because it was not my decision to enter the school. It was the choice of my child. It was the recommendation from the teachers in the elementary school that my child could excel even he had 12 to 14 math. Teachers during his first 9 years of schooling because the Danish parliament decided to destroy the free public schooling in Denmark and motivate rich parents to pay for private school. In just one year, 70 percent of the teachers quit because being a teacher could no longer support a normal life. The teachers simply retired if they had the option or moved to other lines of business. My child suffered as result of the governments decision. There are areas where the teaching simply did not stick.

But once again. My child decided to attend the school – not me. My child was ready to do the work it took. But the skills lacked and while I make it certain that quitting school will not be a disappointment to me, I also bought a few hours of private teaching just to see if it would work having private lessons once per week. It did! We are back on the right track. It might not be the best high school exam, my child will earn, but it is a goal achieved and even if my child after passing high school will not attend further schooling and start a McJob career flipping burgers until retirement, I will not be disappointed.

I have another child looking into which university to attend. Whether my child will go down that path or not, is not for me to decide. I will accept whatever decision. I am a Dane born in the 1960’s. I have learned that hard work doesn’t necessary pay.

  • The government will cut early retirement regardless of how hard you work.
  • The government will punish you by removing your civil rights if you choose to work abroad so you never can return to Denmark.
  • The government will destroy your children’s schooling despite how much taxes your hard work brings to their table.
  • The government will force you to pay for the cure of your children’s if it a mental (and in Denmark shameful) illness despite how hard you work paying 50 percent or more of your income in taxes.

So, my children shall not see hard work as a thing, they should be proud of. They shall work hard if they like it, not because they should expect some kind of bonus or thanks for it.

In the end it is what they want, not what I want.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they force their children into wilderness programs, special boarding schools, treatment centers etc. just because they as parents feel that their children do not aim to fulfill their full potential.

That is why I see parents as plain out stupid if they bribe people to let their children attend universities when all the child wants is to party at a local school instead.

None will put up a monument once you are gone for pushing your children to do more that they want. All you achieve instead is to push them away from you.

Remember that. You only get one chance as a parent to do it right.

Sources:

Car trouble

In family on June 14, 2016 at 18:52

As I wrote late 2015 I got a new car.

It makes trouble. It is some kind of electronics.

At the same time the car has proven difficult to drive. My son says that I have to buy special tires for the winter but really – the car dealer told me that I got all-year round tires with the car when I purchased it. Otherwise I would have put pressure on the car dealer to give me extra tires included in the price.

A new set of tires are very expensive because the European Union has made a law where new cars have to have a kind of Formula One technoligy inside so the driver can see the tire pressure all the time. What good is that for? If I get a flat I can feel it at once.

It makes sense on a racing track where you go 100 miles per hour but we cannot go anywhere with that kind of speed because the central government over at the small island where Copenhagen is placed has introduced very low speed limits so their small island might be felt bigger than it is. I have no use for information about tire pressure.

When you put in a lot of computers in the car you will get a lot of computer trouble because the car is outside where everything can get wet.

It miss my old car.

Round and round and round they go

In family on May 12, 2016 at 19:01

Was with my oldest son out watching Speedway. You know something about motorcycles going round and round on a track while they drift through the dirt. Very boring but what dont you do for your children.

The most boring hours I have spent for months.

Then of course as father and son we ate once it was over. Real burgers for real men!

That is something I remember when I look back. The many times we ate together. Meals are when family come together.

 

Death in the family

In family on February 16, 2016 at 19:16

It is always a loss when someone in your family departs from this world.

It makes you think about if you have seen what you really like before it is too late.

In a quiet moment, I sat down and gave my thoughts.

Do I miss to see something?

Yes, of course I would like to see grandchildren being born before it is too late.

As for places on the earth, there is nothing more for me to see. I have been to Germany once. I do not need to see anything else abroad. For me Denmark is the world. It has everything I want to see.

It was my cousin who checked out. According to his wife and children, he also got a full life to live before he passed away. 39 he became. It was cancer, which claimed him. I visited him a couple of months ago in Ringsted where he lived. It is a small cold town in the center of Sealand. Difficult to drive to. You have to pass Fyen, which is just something you have to get over with.

He was a peace with himself. Looking back at what he considered a full life. His only regret was that he did not get to see his kids grow into adults and of course – no grandchildren. He had known that there was nothing to do for some while and they prepared by moving into something smaller which was one of the reasons I were over there as I helped carrying stuff to their new place.

Besides the issue with the children and possible grandchildren, he did not mind checking out now because he was a highly specialized Navision XAL person, which was a program Navision no longer sells. From being a specialist, he became an untrained worker, as it is too expensive to train an old man like him for a new system. 80,000 DKK was the price he had to put on the table to get the courses. It would not be fair for any firm considering the few years he had left in the workforce.

So he reached the end at age 39. At least he died as a satisfied and comforted man. We will now gather in the family so we can support the relatives left behind as much as possible. The world is changing and life kicks many people to the side roads these years where they are left behind because big companies move to new software and technologies without considering that the old things were something people lived off.

Even I fail to keep up pace.

When far from home

When you are not home, you are not you

Uddannelse til ingenting

om mit liv efter uddannelse og inden jeg forhåbentlig snart kan stoppe med at arbejde igen

Jack1993's Weblog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Sex and Other Four Letter Words...

Stories and Essays seeking Truth through Controversy

Missing TTI Victims Teens

Victimized Teens missing as result of the Troubled Teens Industry

Henrik Hansen's blog

Henrik Hansen's blog on everything and everybody

Søren Hansens blog

It's my life.

Jens Sørensens blog - tanker fra et eksil

Studerende og bitter i en afkrog fjernt fra civilisationen

Little Wordlings

Poetry, Science and other Wordlings

Ude er godt men hjemme er bedst

En side for dem som overvejer at leve og studere i udlandet

birthe1951

Birthe født i 1951 - om mit liv og mine holdninger

Bentes hjemmeblog's Blog

Lidt om vores families liv

Today a child died

Statements about how the world is seen from Denmark

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.