We have a girl who acts out because none seems to deal with the issue that a child can not always cope the fact that the parents are not around all their life.
The mother suffered from cancer. She of course needed a lot a time for her recovery. But what about the girl? Now the girls acts out. Sending her away to some kind of punishing ranch in Utah is not the answer. A foster family as sad as it is a better solution.
The mothers approach the conflicts all wrong. I would never provoke my children to a fight. I am getting older and weak. They are getting stronger. I am not teaching them that it is a question about who is stronger when it comes to run a home. I am teaching them that the one who comes home with the money is the person who runs the home. They can have a lot of saying the minute they bring home money.
I am also teaching them that we need harmony in order to communicate. As a Dane I stop talking when I have to deal with something seriously. I can talk. I can fun when harmony is reached. Otherwise there is only silence. It is too easy in this world to provide negative feedback. So if there are issue it is better to give no feedback at all.
It should be the mother who should go to the ranch. I am sad that she was hit with cancer but even when the odd are rough against you, you have to put your children first. You need to think that there is a real risk that you can lose the battle against cancer. She should have sought foster parents during her illness so the daughter could get the love and attention she is looking for back then.
Now where the daughter is 13 the decision also has to be done slowly in agreement with the girl. That means giving the girl time to say goodbye to her old friends and establish plans for her to remain connected to her old social network back home because the stay at the ranch only last 120 days if she use as much time as Jemma Lucy – one of Turn-about Ranch most well-known successes. Jemma Lucy stayed at the ranch twice when she was a teen providing her with the skills to cope in various reality shows.
While this girl could go on just as Jemma Lucy to star in show like Buckwild or Jersey Shores I have to question the approach Dr. Phil chooses in this case because the problem is the way the boundaries are set up at home. The social services in the home town of the mother and the girls should intervene and provide local solutions for this family which could enable the girl to have an education.
Many teenagers who have gone to Utah faces difficulties with the accreditation of their school papers once they return. Grades are not recognized.
Then there are the lawsuits made against Turn-about Ranch. Are the therapists all accredited? Are violence used?
Last but not least: Used of transporters. I have learned my children from the very start not to go with strangers. Here the girl is sent with strangers across state lines. It is against everything I believe in as a parent.
- “I Want To Give Up My Car-Stealing, Knife-Wielding, Twerking 13-Year-Old Daughter Who Tried To Frame Me For A Crime” (Dr. Phil show)
- Torture Alleged at Utah Treatment Center (Courthouse News Service)