In relationship with the Sofia Roberts case I came to think about a Danish case where a couple adopted a child from Africa and had to put the child in a group home only a few years later because they couldn’t bond with the child. The birth parents were even lied to and told that they could keep contact with the children.
I know in my heart that I would not make a good parent for a child I should adopt, so I will not be parent for any other children than my own. I know my limitation and if it makes me a bad person not to try to move them then I will accept being a bad person.
I believe that being a parent is a job you have until you die. You cannot detach – not even when they are grown up and running their own lives. You will always care.
That is why I have difficulties understanding parents who take in a child either by adoption or by entering a new relationship only to be creative finding a way to trash and dump the children somewhere.
I saw that a couple is on the run after they banished a child at age 9 they had adopted as a baby. I hope that the boy and his siblings get counseling so they can be helped healing the wound the parents have caused. Every child will disappoint you at some point in your life and then you have to look in the mirror so you can understand what you have to do better. I don’t drink alcohol anymore. In Denmark it is legal for teenagers to buy alcohol on their own when they are 16. It would be wrong for me to say to them that they should run their life without alcohol if they could see me every day sipping alcohol. There is a reason for kittens not to be able to see when they are born. Children use their eyes to judge the world – not their ears. It is healthy and we as parents need to be aware of this.
If a child starts to talk about stabbing you or siblings where does the child get the input from? Have you counseled the child about the differences between the violent video games or TV-series you have allowed the child to interact with while you were busy working to provide for the family? Are we talking a mental illness? Anyway you have to care. You have to reach out to your extended family, doctors and then the authorities to get help.
I understand that some parents don’t have the network or surplus to do so and then I have to ask if they had thought the concept of parenthood through from the very start.
As I stated above: Parenting last for the rest of your life and while it is hard it is rewarding in the end to have someone to be with you in the end rather than dying alone knowing that a service in church when you are gone would be waste of time because none would show up beside those who have to work at the time of your burial.
Ohio couple Cleveland and Lisa Cox ‘return’ adopted son, 9 (The Herald Sun)